Throughout this site you’ll find various references to dads and fathers. Maybe it was only a shocker when I discovered it but there actually is a distinct difference. The good news is you can actually be both.
Having a baby gives you bragging rights to the father title but it’s not until you actually feel it that you really experience it. I can remember my moment of truth realization that I was being a father. I was following up a time out and shout fest with my oldest son.
I sat beside him on his bed and gave him an in depth explanation as to why he was in there, what motivated my decisions and the moment he started to really hit my tilt button. Since I think about things way too much, I’m sure I fed him much more intel then he could have possibly absorbed, but as I sat there listening to myself as I spoke to him it hit.
On the one hand I was really conveying a heartfelt message that not only was I angry about what he had done, I was unhappy about being angry with him. That’s when the images flooded my head of countless Mike Bradyesqe father figures from television. At that moment I realized I was cast in the father role without a single audition, cold read, nothing. Total improv.
I was much more accustomed to being a dad. Throwing him in the backpack carrier for a day hike, putting him in the bicycle trailer for a quick trip to the playground or going to story time at the library.
These were all pretty much dad activities where if you cover the basics like bringing snacks/bottles, diapers and wipes you had the whole father thing covered.
There are a million moments and what feels like a million emotions that come with being a parent, sometimes you’re going to be the dad and sometimes you’re going to be the father. No matter what, each moment is more priceless than the last, and every moment is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your children.
I have very few days where, at the end of the day, I don’t think of something I could have done better or additionally. Don’t beat yourself up over it, just remember it for next time. Use a notepad app on your phone and when an idea hits you, jot it down.