It had been years since I had set foot in a church.
I grew up Catholic but I never really agreed with the values of the Catholic church and in my opinion, Vatican City is just as corrupt as Anytown USA. I drifted spiritually for years eventually spending years pursuing Soto Zen Buddhism. I figured I might as well lose myself, plus I was doing a lot of martial arts training at the time so it fit.
I always considered myself to be a believer of God and Jesus Christ but even though I own a stack of Bibles I had never read one cover to cover. I gave thanks to the Lord for many beautiful sunrises, sunsets and epic vistas during my travels around the country but I didn’t know anything about prayer. Fellowship, servanthood and Christian church life in general were also complete mysteries to me.
I have to offer some background on me to help you understand my thought process. I lived most of my life in a blue collar crew in New Jersey. We never trust nice. If you know what I’m talking about you can imagine my adapting to the slew of “nice” church people. For a guy like me that takes a lot of getting used to.
I’m also a master level introvert, so I was definitely out of my comfort zone. I had to Google what a potluck was. Being a single father just added to the overthinking fun. Oh, and I was fresh out of a divorce and just had my first bad post divorce dating nightmare. I was cool on the outside and a raging trainwreck on the inside..
I decided that it was time to find a non-denominal Christian church to call home. I took my kids to several churches, what a variety of experiences. Some were huge and very crowded, some were like warehouse churches that only preached about the building fund, and some were just way too loud for us and a couple weren’t teaching from the Bible.
Everyone we met really was nice but there were some churches we knew we were in the wrong place as soon as we walked through the door.
Then we walked through the right door.
It was a small, modest but nicely furnished church with a country feel to it. We walked in and were greeted enthusiastically by the Associate Pastor, nothing over the top, just very friendly.
He even offered to let me use the mini chapel if I needed it when I was volunteering with the Cub Scouts. I thought that was a little sudden but I was staying on my toes.
Several people introduced themselves to us and everybody seemed to be genuinely nice. We also got free gifts in the small but surprisingly well stocked gift/bookstore upstairs.
The people who work the children’s ministry were all very friendly and my kids got along with them instantly. There is a kitchen and a backyard bbq and play area for the kids. And the best part, every sermon is taught from the Bible, verse by verse.
As the weeks went on I started to get more comfortable. I met and got to know the Pastor who became my counselor and ultimately a friend. He’s gone with the kids and I to movies, lunches and showed us different outdoor activities in the area we didn’t know about. He also showed us a bunch of fun, low cost things to do.
He introduced me to some ministry opportunities which I jumped on. I love to learn, I love to help people and I didn’t have to sit in the regular seating I jokingly call “gen pop’ in the sanctuary during service. Which helped preserve my introverted peace.
I started out helping with the sound board for the worship band and running the gift shop after Sunday service in addition to helping out with our weekly food distribution. Fast forward four years and now I manage our social media and live streaming of the weekly service, which I also edit for broadcasting on the radio. I also do recording and editing for the church radio station.
You will occasionally see me swapping out a computer or installing a new wifi or something nerdy as well.
I spent many winter nights there working on my projects and baking pizzas for the kids and I in the kitchen. I was happy the garlic and onion smell faded before Sunday rolled around. Ten years before that, I would never have pictured myself a key holding church member.
The church has really been there for my family through some dark times. My Pastor spent countless hours counseling me during my severe depression and PTSD struggle. The church even helped us replace our refrigerator and air conditioner when they broke at the same time as our water heater.
The youth ministry put together a fundraiser so my oldest son could go to Bible camp during the summer and put together lots of fun trips and activities for all the kids and they were sponsored by the church.
I really feel like I’ve found the church that I’ve been looking for, for so long. Even though I’m probably the least social person in the congregation, people know that I’m always happy to help with just about anything and that I’m always ready to listen if someone needs to talk.
It’s a frustrating process but if you’re out there looking for that special church, don’t give up. Read your Bible daily, pray (just do your best, talk to the Lord as if he were in the car sitting next to you) and when you finally do find it, you just might become a part of the largest family you’ve never thought possible.
Written by: Fred Ost